What a Resume Should NOT Look Like

This was an actual resume for a position at a bowling alley, but I think we could all take a minute to see why this style of resume might not be “the best” in any situation.

I’ll give you a little taste…

… While we were on the farm, my grandparents, mother, and I would take two weeks out of the summer to go on family vacations. I can still remember my first trip out of Florida. It was to the state of Florida. My first grade year we went to the grand canyon, my first grade teacher rode down it on a mule. My first grade teacher was Mrs. Maphles. I was the brightest in my class when it came to math and numbers…

Read It (pdf) and Weep

Names, companies and locations (proper nouns) have been changed for privacy!!!

wtf?

What are Your Comments?

23 thoughts on “What a Resume Should NOT Look Like

  1. A resume should NOT contain:

    Software Languages: …
    Concepts: …
    Frameworks and APIs: … (It’s APIs not API’s. Learn grammar)
    Software and Systems: …

    Very boring.
    It’s not AJAX, it’s Ajax.
    Ajax is not a framework and it’s not an API either. There are numerous other things that I can’t even list because I don’t have time.

  2. @Anonymous. Hey. I’m open to learning. Tell me! Tell me what it should contain! Don’t just provide criticisms to my site and my knowledge. Provide solutions! Please! I want to improve!

  3. OK engfer, I apologize if the tone of my previous comment signed as anonymous was not very nice. I don’t know if you would need to learn anything from me but I do know I am NOT qualified to teach you anything.

    I am nosy so when I read other people’s blog, while I was on their site, I tend to click around. That’s how I got to your About tab.

    What you list in the About tab of your site resembles very much like a resume. I found that it looks just like 100,000 other resumes out there. There are worse resumes and those are the ones that contain certifications like MCSE, MCP, MCD, etc, I’m just making up these acronyms. Anyway, the point is if as if there’s a template with all these languages, libraries, frameworks that people just start filling in. I don’t know what’s the best way to prepare a resume in our profession anymore. Finally, my apology …

  4. Actually, Anonymous, the correct way of referring to Ajax is AJAX since it’s an acronym standing for “Asynchronous JavaScript And XML”. Just like PHP stands for PHP Hypertext Processor, but we don’t refer to it as Php.

    These days pretty much all JavaScript effects are loosely called “Ajax”, when in reality the only ones worthy of the title are those making server-side calls “Asynchronously”.

    Just my two cents.

  5. It’s for a bowling alley. Having a resume at all seems like overkill. After reading this one, its clear the guy has a good head on his shoulders, but certainly isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. I would value his intentions and frank honesty more than anything else. Honestly, if you expected much more you would likely end up hiring someone who would quickly grow bored of the job.

    The world takes all types.

  6. “Don’t just provide criticisms to my site and my knowledge. Provide solutions!”

    Take your own advice. Assuming that the resume is real (and it’s a completely obvious fabrication) this article offers nothing more than the resume itself. You didn’t even say a single word about what you thought was wrong–are you even capable of articulating as much? Your purpose seems to be nothing more than to ridicule this imaginary person.

  7. What I can see is that he did the best that he could to build up his resume and maybe nobody helped him in making it. Evidently he spent a lot of time writing it.

    Lesson.

    Lets see, this resume has a lot of noise. We need to put in our resume the least possible information that identify our skills and our attitude towards the job and the people with whom we will be involved. Also it is always important for the employer to know briefly which goals do we have for the job and for our life.

  8. @Jason Palmer,

    OK, I don’t know if I’m right or you’re right. My statement is based on what I saw on ajaxian.com (or is it Ajaxian.com), and I quote:

    “It’s “Ajax”, not “AJAX”, stupid”

    Maybe I trust Ajaxian too much, but you can understand why: They are probably the authority on Ajax or AJAX.

  9. @Everyone Questioning Authenticity. Unfortunately, this is not a contrived resume. It was handed to me via a friend of mine that was a manager of the particular bowling alley at the time. I change the proper nouns for identity security. I re-wrote the phone number in mspaint. Yeah, I guess I’m just an @$$hole; there’s not really any grounds for my allegations.

  10. Unified Process (RUP), CMMI, other agile development

    Are you saying that CMMI is agile? They are pretty much opposite ends of the spectrum.

  11. Criticis: Too much to read and too boring.

    Solution:
    1. Resume should not exceed more than a page.
    2. Be clear to the point, we don’t want to read a novel.
    3. State the benefits/improvements you provided to previous jobs.
    4. Do your resume with the employer’s perspective in mind.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>